Intimacy: The release for Freedom.

     Surrender to the will of the Father releases supernatural deliverance. Every chain of sin and the weight of guilt falls to the ground as we open up our lives in every way to the Father of Lights to whom there is no shadow of turning. He is altogether lovely Holy and perfect. He requires a perfect sacrifice. How do we an imperfect people offer up a perfect whole sacrifice. It is by faith. Faith in the finished work of the cross. 

     Not only must we surrender to it but surrender every every every aspect of our hearts lives souls minds to him. Whom the son sets free is free indeed. Can you believe that today? Have you realized the power of the resurrected Life? They shall know the Truth and the Truth shall set them free. 

     As you walk closely to the Holy Spirit, and begin to know him intimately, he shows you things in your life that you must must surrender. Obedience in every area is not only vital to our spiritual walk, it can determine how far you will go with Him.

     Israel, God's people refused to obey. As God desired to to open the door to a greater walk through his law, they began to construct  idols for themselves and pine after the things they had forsaken to follow him.  Their hardness of heart caused them one of the greatest defeats in history. The loss of oppurtunity to know their Lord in the promise Land. 

   There are promises in the word, that God wants to release to you. He desires to fulfill each one, but there are areas in our hearts we must first conquer. Yes, he had given the promise land to the generation of Joshua. He promised his precious presence would go with them. (Joshua 1:9) They would possess the Land that was promised them from the beginning. But there would be specific instructions that would follow that  if not heeded to completion, could result in grand error. There is a freedom within our Lives that the Lord has given us and he shows us how to walk it out.  First, the Lord told Joshua to meditate on the Law day and night to observe to do everything in it, then  he would be successful in his pursuits to possess the land of his inheritance. (Joshua 1:8) Many Christians  fall short of inheriting the precious promises simply because they have become ignorant of what they possess in Christ. How is this done...losing intimacy with him. Intimacy was on the forefront of Joshua's mind. 

And all the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the tabernacle door, and all the people rose and worshipped, each man in his tent door. So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face as a man speaks to his friend. And he would return to the camp, but his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, did not depart from the tent.

 Exodus 33:11

    Moses was hindered as was his generation from entering in the promise Land due to disobedience.(Numbers 20:11) But the young man Joshua, had spent time in the presence of the Almighty and understood the Heart of God. As one begins to walk closely with the Lord, doors begin to open not only in the natural but in the supernatural. Doors and pathways that will lead to freedom if heeded. He will call you to release and lay things down bit by bit. It could be a stronghold from the past. A soul tie to another individual. Perhaps it is something as simple as a wrong perception, either of the past or what our future is to be. or maybe a friendship or relationship that is hindering you from a total focus on him. Either way it is only in a close love walk with the Lord that He can be given free course to speak and show us what is causing a blockade to walking in freedom. 

   All sin  was nailed to the cross and at that same cross we find we must let go burdens, handing them over to our Lord. It is to often we come face to face with the Lord Jesus Christ and we ask him " why have you not set me free in this area" but I must respond with another question. Has not Christ freely offered up Freedom? He has said you shall know the truth.  and the truth shall set you free. John 8:32 This is one of the most commonly quoted scriptures but to often we overlook the lines just before, which were spoken prior to this powerful statement. The  Lord says something that resonates and echoes  the instruction given to Joshua...

       Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." Beloved, how can you know truth unless you first learn to be submitted to the Person of Truth.

     Almost identical to the wording used to give Joshua instruction to inherit the promise land :

Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

    Joshua was to meditate on the Book of the Law. Jesus instructed the Jewish believers to hold to his teachings. Are you beginning to see it. Jesus said in Matthew 5:17 he was the fulfillment of the Law. In essence his word to the Jews was exactly what Joshua was many years before.  These words : Hold to my teaching, meditate on the law  day and night, are all relational descriptors. The success of  being set free was contingent on their direct relationship with Word of Truth.  As seen in history when the Jews attempted to obey a set of rules they failed miserably. But when the revelation of Christ has come, we find a Man in whom perfection is seen, one in whom the law was made complete. The Law Became a Person. The Lord invited the believers in to become his very own disciples.  To find freedom in their relationship with him. Herein was found the key to freedom. If you hold to my teachings, then you are my disciples and you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free!!!

Here are a few definitions of a disciple:

a. One who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another.

b. An active adherent, as of a movement or philosophy.

2. often Disciple One of the original followers of Jesus.

3. Disciple A member of the Disciples of Christ.

The American Heritage Dictionary

 

1. (Philosophy) a follower of the doctrines of a teacher or a school of thought

2. (Christian Religious Writings / Bible) one of the personal followers of Christ (including his 12 apostles) during his earthly life

[Old English discipul, from Latin discipulus pupil, from discere to learn]

Collins English Dictionary

Disciple comes from a Latin word meaning "learner" and discipline comes from one meaning "instruction, knowledge."

Farlex Trivia Dictionary

      In Matthew 28:11-12 the Lord exhorts us to come to him and Learn of him.

This my friends is a love relationship with our Lord, There are many believers and  many followers of Jesus but not many disciples. Not many are disciplined enough to know the truth and to be set free by it. This is a walk of give and take. A narrow path has been laid out for us. But it is not alone that we will find ourselves. The same power that conquered all, death hell & the grave, this same resurrecting power resides inside of you. As you put our Lord first obeying his every wish. As you draw closer to him, in spending time with him in his word and prayer you will begin to know his voice and what his desires are. Then as you know the Truth,  you will begin to experience the freedom  He has laid out for everyone. I leave you with this:

    Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."

     Following Jesus is not burdensome. As you begin to delight yourself in him, you will find releasing all your burdens  to him brings such joy and strength. This love walk is unparallelled and all he asks is that you take that first step: Come.

My prayer for you today is that you truly experience the freedom that is found in this walk of obedience to our Lord Jesus Christ, who has brought an invitation to all generations that of which is to become His.  Perhaps you feel that whatever is hindering you  from knowing freedom has taken mastery over you. Remember you are no longer a slave to sin. Bathe yourself in the word of God. Humble yourself before him. Be honest transparent with your struggle. Whether its a thought, a habit, a holding on to the past. Release it to him by faith. Perhaps it will be a daily thing. But in the end you will find there is such grace and forgiveness in his presence, here you will be made whole. This my friend, is where you will find meditating on His word daily will cause rivers to flow from with in and you will find what once was an ash heap has been turned into something magnificent and beautiful. Only Come. Give it to him. Dance in his freedom walk in it run with it dive into all he has. Lay aside every weight of sin that so easily besets and run this race for all he has for you. This has been and is daily what I am now experiencing and I long for the whole world to know. Intimacy with the King brings freedom to be all he has called you to be.

Love and blessings always,

isa

Marvel in the Now...

         I realize it's been almost over a month since I last wrote. I feel time slipping through my fingertips and  am exhausted to say the least, however, My Lord has been there every step of the way. As of late I confess I  can often find myself looking all to hastily to the future, when in the now he Dwells. When my current circmustances do not add up to what I know my calling to be, there  can be certain  frustrations that threaten to take over and a tendency to want to rush time, or move beyond  this point to  the  next phase of life. But then how easily it can be to miss the lesson to be learned right where I am.
        There is a saying " The past is gone and the future is yet to be, but we possess a gift in the now simply called the present. Abraham's vision for his future was quite a vision indeed. But If it weren't for the moments in his life which wove the tapestry of this tale, there would be no lesson learned. We glean from this story because of every momentous encounter with God and with others. Inside every heartbreak and every dissapointment was found new depths of understanding otherwise hidden. Beloved, how many people base their entire existence in searching for what is found beyond their reach, only to look back to see a whole life has passed them by. Let this not be you.
             Take time to enjoy Him for he dwells in the now. Take pleasure in what he has given already. Not the highest of mountaintops, nor the greatest of success, can compare to the richness found in his presence alone. Delight in relationships  he has place in front of you. Invite someone to coffee or phone an old friend up. He longs for communion through your mouth to every person connected to you. How many will pine after their goals, when having arrived will only look back to see it was the steps leading them there that painted the lasting legacy and much of what will be remembered are the moments leading up to it all.
            I recently got the opportunity to hear ex-prime minister Tony Blair share at a business conference. I  am not on any political agenda here, remove that far from your thoughts. Albeit, he shared many  points on leadership that I found fascinating. One of the comments he shared comes to mind,  to be a leader in his stead he has come full circle to the realization, people are people in every facet and stage of life. Oftentimes, before he achieved his status, he would ponder over what these men of "high rank and esteem" might be like and how he would have to add up, placing them on another level,  finding in the end, not very different from himself they did not possess all the answers.  He came to understand that to walk by another world leader without having said hello, simply because he had much on his mind, could easily cause an offense. He quickly realized that in this arena of high influence, within the personal interactions between country leaders, was a potential to make or break an alliance with other nations.  In essence communication was key. This is vital to our walk with the Lord. "We can only know the value of cross when we understand the value of the person standing next to us." The sooner our goals become about people in the stead of seeking after the next"thing" itself, the closer we are to the ultimate desire the Lord possesses. That all men be drawn to the saving knowledge of Jesus is the cry of the Cross. Dont let one more oppurtunity to share the love of God with someone now. Learn the art of being instead of doing. Be his hands and feet now. Do not wait for the next amazing "ministry oppurtunity." or the next big break. or till you are in front of thousands. So much of how we are now in the little will determine much of where we will be later. Be faithful in the Little and he will give you much. Do not despise your small beginnings.
 To all future politicians just a side quip from Tony Blair: "Try not to make intentional enemies, you will make them often enough accidentally.";)

          When  we conceive that  life will always hinge on our relationships, we will better understand the importance and value of the now in context with one another.
          Marvel in God's creation and his blessing of life. Don't allow the circumstances of this world to steal your joy. There is a realm of God's peace that can be found in the midst of storms. Or perhaps your experiencing monotony, I exhort you to press in. Press in to see that just beyond lies a whole world of possibilities. Relish in where you are now, because if you are his then he promises his presence.  My presence will go with you and I will give you rest. Ex.33:14  "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
And where he is, there is a" fullness of Joy." You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. psalm16:11

Encourage yourself in the Lord. Build yourself up in your most holy faith. Pray and Fight in the Spirit. Fight for the heart to love others and be touchable as our Lord was touchable. Do not allow self-preservation to rob you of the chance to be the healing balm to another broken spirit. Jesus said" he who loves his life shall lose it and he who loses his life shall gain it." I am experiencing this in my own life and favor is being shown on every level.

          That being said, I want to thank those of you who have said prayers for me. I have just finished my first quarter at my School of Worship. And oh, the powerful truths that have been unlocked within me. The beautiful people I have met, and the depth of Christ I have partaken of is beyond words. I came here quite the broken individual and I am quite another person indeed. And its only been a matter of months. How amazing it is to know that in his presence there is an exchange. I have found Him at my side every moment of every day. I am in anticipation  the best is yet to come, but till then I will worship him now and  minister to all who are in my path.
         My prayer for you today is that you encounter his presence in a greater way.  There is truly nothing that can compare, not the highest of mountaintops or the greatest of success, not people or places or things . It all pales in the light of Him who fills all in all. Take time to enjoy him, now. Love and blessings.-Coveting prayers always,
isa

It is beautiful how God has done everything at the right time. He has put a sense of eternity in people's minds. Yet, mortals still can't grasp what God is doing from the beginning to the end [of time]. eccl. 3:11

Unhindered Rest

                    " They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles and soar...."
                      Today God reminded me of the importance of starting off with the right spirit. I hate to confess(as per His desire confess your sins one to another:), that I was a wreckless driver, impatient, blaming every other car that heeded the speed limit for my tardiness to class, and yet it was this very thing that caused me to lose sight of my Lord. As the day progressed, I found myself increasingly vulnerable to every situation that occurred. From feeling irritable, to over-analyzing just about every reaction and response to anything I said or did. This simple act of losing self-control and not allowing patience to have it's perfect work, caused me to be extremely introspective and an internal war took place, of which I slowly lost. That is when the Holy Spirit spoke something very clearly to my heart,  'To be one with a hardened heart is to be more aware of the natural than the spirit." Perhaps by now you are thinking that I am looking to deeply into this, but I tell you I am being brought to a greater awareness of the Lord's presence; to know that much of my day was spent focused on the external annoyance's of my flesh and not on the Lord himself, is well a huge injustice not only to myself, but everyone else around me.

            Song of Solomon depicts a story between two lovers. One filled with romance, dread, fear, reluctance, betrayal, and ultimately separation, that in turn led to a reunion of which there is no comparison. A lover pursues his love with a vengeance. He is completely taken by her beauty. And can I tell you, this woman points to all her physical flaws "Look not upon me for I am dark because of the sun hath looked upon me."

Songs of Solomon states that she was so busy attending other's vineyards-1:6- that she was not ready for her lover to enjoy himself in the work of her hand. The story weaves itself in and out of her unpreparedness. From the foxes in her vineyard that were spoiling the vine(2:15), to not being ready at night for his visit to her quarters(5:2),  there is an overriding theme in this lovely paradox of true Love and pursuit, one of which resonates throughout, the theme that despite her lack of sensitivity,  her Lover continues to seek after her with such vigor. But she, much like ourselves, chooses her comfort over his call. How often we get in the way of our Lord's voice. How is it we can be sensitive to his voice, when we are so occupied with ourselves? It was not till he hid himself for a moment and left her that she realized the absence of his precious presence was to much to bare. "I opened to my beloved, but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but could not find him, I called him, but he gave me no answer."(5:6)

              I see this as a picture of one who has known the sweet presence of our Lord but as time went on, became all to concerned with the natural substance of their life, it could be a career, schedule, relationships, all of which slowly takes ones eyes off of his face and onto the affairs of this life-the hardness of heart. As I stated earlier, my day unfolded with the focus being on everything that was around me. I had not allowed time to center my focus around my King and before I knew it a snowball effect of irritations and unrestrained attitude surfaced. Whoa, c'mon Isabel, seriously, you were just annoyed, it happens to anyone. Well let's examine the situation closely. Say, let's just say, I chose to ignore this issue of impatience and assume it would resolve itself. I don't go and discuss it with the Lord or allow him show me what went wrong. It is almost assumed it would happen again. Again I find that I am running late, driving way to fast,which is unacceptable, the worship of God is to be done in everything we do,(we'll discuss that at a later point in time), and I drive beyond the speed limit, which in turn causes me to be pulled over by the police to which consequence in a fat fine. I then end up being an hour late to class, in which I become completely overwhelmed, and at best an offense may stir up in my heart. I might say something like" God why did you let that happen?" As the day progresses, perhaps the Holy Spirit is longing for my attention, but all I can think on is my huge fine. He continues to tug at my heart. The people in front of me in the checkout line are completely irritating me due to their obnoxious attitude(because at this point my sense to the natural realm is heightened). I am to busy being irritated with them to hear the Lord whisper to me " Share my love with them". This my friend is how one unchecked attitude can heap all the more awful consequences. And ultimately losing consciousness and awareness of his voice and presence.

OK, so this is just an example of what might happen. However it's not far from what has been happening the past few days. I have had many run-ins with the attitudes of my heart.

What then remedies this? Well of course I would not just present the problem without offering a solution. Let us take a look to see what the young woman did when her Lover pulled away.

In the following verses(5:7-8) the young woman becomes "lovesick". Wikipedia states that to be lovesick is: In love, or missing the person one loves, so much that one is unable to act normally.

This is true of myself. I begin to miss his presence so much that I simply do not act normal. I become so self focused, insecure, unable to move at the sound of his voice. And yet perhaps for many of you this how your days play out, You find that comparing yourself to others, constant introspection has become a norm. You let the situations of this life truly affect you and yet the Lord said, " I have come that you might have life and Life more Abundant. He has called us to be overcomers in every facet of our livelihood and that includes the attitudes of our hearts.

"From the time I wake to the time I lay my head I want to pursue after the Lover of my soul and never let him go."

There is a shift in the love story. The young woman finds her self seeking after her beloved. Where most of this tale generates around the pervading truth that the Lover pursues and woos her with such sweet beckoning, at the absence of his presence she becomes lovesick, or better yet obsessed with the thought of him. As a result, she pursues hard after him. I believe that is what the Lord does in our lives. He gives us such a sweet sense of his presence that we begin to realize what brings him pleasure and what tends to cause us to lose sight of him. Herein lies the solution to losing sight of that which truly matters. Seek him. "Come to me all who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest."(matt11:28)

"Rest" is anapauo which means "to refresh, rest up," but also "to cease from labor."

The burdens of this life are not meant for you to bare alone. God desires to be in the intricate places of your being. Allow him to invade you and comfort you. Maybe it's late in the day and you have already started off with allowing the affairs of this life to entangle you. Stop just for a few moments and concentrate yourself on Him who lives within, lay it down before him. Be honest with him and release it all. What is it that at this very moment has your attention, could it be everything around you has you captivated or can you say like the young woman in the story, "I found him whom my soul loves I held him, and would not let him go."

In this life, a daily giving over to the Lord of absolutely everything, from obscure thoughts to heart issues, must transpire. Make it your highest attainment to have unhindered communion. What does that look like? Well in the midst of my day, I simply breathed a word of prayer and asked the Lord to cause me to be sensitive to him again. Suddenly, in the middle of class, I became increasingly aware of his delight in me and all those other opposing thoughts faded in the light of this one truth.

You see when you go to him, the first truth he places before you is-you are his delight. And once this has become a pervading force within you nothing will detour you from seeking him daily.

The Lord longs for a place within us to call home. And the more we understand he is a resident of our hearts, the more our highest pursuit will forever be the construction of his dwelling place within our souls. Our bodies should be a place where the Holy Spirit can be at rest. "Thus saith the Lord the Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool: where is the house that ye build unto me? and where is the place of my rest?(Isaiah 66) He is seeking for open hearts that will allow him to get at those foxes that spoil the vine. Believe this, there is no greater joy than being at rest with Him and allowing him to be at rest in you. The best relationships always consist of one thing, a total understanding of the other person's heart and there is an ease that accompanies, thus there is a rest in this persons presence. Notwithstanding, the same can be said of our relationship with Christ.

My prayer is that the next time you are tempted to "deal with something" in your own understanding that you don't, that you acknowledge him in every way possible, in all you say or do, and watch as life just happens. He will direct your path. It is his promise. May your relationship with this Divine King be one of relentless pursuit and complete union of his mind and will with yours.

cheers and Gb,

isa

A Divine Muse : Obsession

Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, (Flint)  determined to do his will. And I know that I will not be put to shame. Isaiah 50:7 NLT

I have titled my blog "My Magnificent Obsession because everything I do  is directly connected to God. Every decision, like who I spend my time with, or what I decide to wear, flows out of my relationship with him.
  Within us is this desire to fixate ourselves on something or someone. Whether you admit it or not, you, my friend, have an obsession. It's impossible not to take note of this simple fact!  Running from rehab to rehab, in and out of social circles, and climbing certain spectrums of hum drum, many live in denial  wrapping themselves around what would appear to satisfy.
    Obsession or addiction takes on many forms. I am quite familiar with the life of an addict. Much of my life, relationships and drugs, to dreams and self-image all became a part of my whirlwind, chain of vices . As a girl, I always dreamed of being a world renowned singer. I remember falling asleep to images of myself singing in front of thousands of people. This slowly became one of my many obsessions, eventually culminating in my move to New York City, where I would come to the end of myself and the beginning of a lifelong relationship with Jesus.  Along with the desire for fame came the never-ending cycle of relationships. My list of vices goes on, from my fascination to hip-hop culture, to the clamoring after perfecting my physical appearance, yet nothing ever satisfied this  art of compulsive behavior  I had created for myself. That is when  Jesus walked into my self-delusioned world and  completely re-wired my thinking.
 It is  better still to say that He had always been there, except for far too long I chose to ignore his calling. This Man; The Sweetest of Lovers, The Sweetest of Names, The Name that is above every Name. One that has now become my Divine Muse. His name: Jesus Christ. The savory breathtaking title of One who has finally taken his rightful place within me.
     I could not be more satisfied than I now am.  Despite his love causing wars within me-my imperfection vs. his completeness-I am anchored in his love. He is the center of my all. A jealous Lover is He indeed.
    This same passionate call is for the masses. In particular, His foreboding drips from his lips calling you, "Come and Let me become your Obsession."
       Everything about you will be transformed as you wrap your thoughts, heart, soul, and mind
around His person and presence. Hungry for more, read his love letter to you found in the Word, also known as the Bible. There you will find that this same God that I have become so enraptured by is unequivocally obsessed with you, His creation.  At the moment, I hear my Divine Obsession drawing me to speak with  Him.
cheers and Gb as you begin to discover this Divine Muse.
isa

Northern Lights, God's Tapestry. Alberta, Canada

I’m running through the gates of love, as fast as I can

I can’t wait to see You cuz I’m a desperate man

You made the light and sent it down

to show us who You are

Now It’s bursting out my heart

My desire is burning like a million stars

And I’ll keep reaching out, reaching out for You

I’d be nothing without You, yeah I would die

If I didn’t have Your hand if I couldn’t look into Your eyes

Jesus if Your love’s the fuel then I’m the desperate flame

That’s screaming out Your name

My desire is burning like a million stars

And I’ll keep reaching out, reaching out for You

My desire, is burning with the fire You sparked

And I’ll keep reaching out, reaching out for You

This is glory rising, over a new horizon

I See Your love, I feel Your smile

You're in my heart and I will run with all I have to You

My desire is burning like a million stars

And I’ll keep reaching out, reaching out for You

My desire, is burning with the fire You sparked

And I’ll keep reaching out, reaching out for You

I'm reaching out for You

I'm reaching out for You, You, You

Song: Desire Artist:(Fellow Obsessee:) Phil Wickham

Something Of Significance

The presence of God...
immeasurable depths of love drip  from wounds so deep that from the beginning of time his heart which beckoned mine beats with longing for companionship with his creation.  Desperate was his passion that he would  bleed for this. From the earth for generations his blood cries out. How can one resist such a call? This Call  consistently triumphs over every sin and every failed attempt  to do anything worth anything at all. It triumphs over every lie and every rejection. His love continues to Cry out to the hardest of hearts. His message; Simple. "Come to me, let me love you that you might in turn know me and love me ."..And this is the message not that we loved him but that he first loved us..."
  Such  sweet candor ."How I long for you to know how rare a treasure you are, my choicest possession. You are mine I have bought you with the highest of price"..Isaiah 43:1 How far superior are his thoughts towards us than that of our daily intake of media and culture which tells us we can only be as valuable as the next paycheck that comes in. I know of a miracle worker who would beg to differ not a penny to his name yet his very shadow and words alone caused miracles all around him. the lame walked and countless others were saved from incurable diseases. Indeed in this Peculiar kingdom the least shall always be the greatest. And the Last shall be first.

My week has been one of highs and lows surrounded by the echo of His immovable anchor. Such doubts I had not known before threatened to overtake me when being challenged by popular belief to be anyone of caliber there must be some sort of degree attached to my name. Thankfully my Lord reminded me that truly I have not been cut from the same cloth as most and mine is a tale of unique quality as is yours my friend.
 Character measured in success alone is not in the least an accurate account. I have met men with millions attached to their names and yet to define them by this alone would only allow for a single dimension to be exposed. While the rest of their person is one of fathomless hollowed attempts in search of significance these types endlessly find themselves searching and  latching on to the nearest prey for their satisfaction. Hoping the next dream or person will fulfill their otherwise meaningless pitiful shallow lives. I have witnessed this countless of times. What then is it to be a person of  true relevance or merit?

Significance.such a powerful word yet so many fall so short of its real meaning giving in to a mediocre existence. Not i. i refuse.

In class last week, one of my professors began  his lesson with a story. He told of how he was sitting in a  first class flight from Australia to la. The flight prior to this was next to a family with an incessant gift of gab. At last in this next flight professor would attempt to get some much needed  rest after a long series of approx.  fifty or so teachings within the span of 3 weeks .  As he sat quietly meditating on the American newspaper before him, the man next to him began to peer over his shoulder glancing at an article that caught his attention. Needless to say the professor's idea of a quiet ride was suddenly halted and he spent the next hours discussing what should "never be discussed with a stranger" politics and religion. Little did he know this man was the vice president of a very prominent adult magazine. Long story short at the end of their conversation my professor concluded and ended with this statement "I know what the problem with you is" completely taken aback,  the man replied  " Ok take your best shot"  ...To which he responded "you sir do not know what it means to lead a significant life". This mans face went ashen and for a moment silence hung in the air between them. With that the man answered " It's as though you have been reading my mail or something,  Yes I  am a VP of  a successful multi- million dollar organization and yet I go home every night not feeling like I am doing much of anything of real importance or meaning. My professor knew this had been a divine appointment from the Lord. The man then proceeded to tell him that he was taking college courses in order to become a motivational speaker...When He  asked my professor what his line of work was he proceeded to tell him with excitement " I happen to be just that a motivational speaker!!" When the  flight landed the man stood to grab his briefcase from the overhead bin , then pausing for a moment he spoke" I would like to invite you to one of my staff meetings sometime to speak to the rest of my board members. Just like that the  professor was given this man's business card ; the key to speak life to an otherwise dead and vapid group of individuals.

Here was a man whose  whole existence centered around himself and yet within him was the desire to lead a life of prestige and true influence. In most minds today he would appear to have it all together perhaps inspiring others but inside he had an insatiable  desire for more just like  the next man. Deep within the human race is the cry for meaning and purpose. How easily society perpetuates this idea which has long been proven dead and unrealistic.  The idea that to achieve your highest good is what will satisy.  If it were that simple then why are millions of "worldly successful" individuals resorting to suicide.

Wikipedia statistics show : Current suicide rates for every age group between 25 and 84 have increased. The most significant increases occurred in individuals aged 25 to 34 (12.3 in 2006 to 13.0 in 2007), 45 to 54 (17.2 to 17.7), and 55 to 64 (14.5 to 15.5). The rate of 17.7 for 45- to 54-year-olds is the highest for any age group in the country, while the rate for 55- to 64-year-olds showed the greatest increase from the previous year. Every 15 minutes someone dies by suicide. It remains the 11th leading cause of death in this country. Though suicide attempts are not reported, it is estimated that close to one million people make a suicide attempt each year. 


Or why is it almost every year without fail some tragedy befalls a famed celebrity such as drug overdose abuse incarceration alcholism? If these indeed have obtained the highest good why then are they falling in the same traps men have fell into for generations. Success indeed found often leads to a grave aftermath. Self leads only to internalization which causes the harshest of inceptions. Drowning oneself in the escape of pleasure  has become a byproduct of selfishly living for ones own gain.  Fleeting moments that can have lasting and  permanent damage.

Alexander the Great understood this all to well. He has quickly become one of my favorite historical characters of all time. What fascinates me most is his personal life. What most men would consider that of greatest importance "a picture of perfection". Where much of our culture and even language stems from this great Grecian warrior, if looked at closely led a life of tragical consequence. This self absorbed power hungry man possessed all earthly goods yet nothing could satisfy his longing soul. "When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." Whether true a quote or not one thing can be certain as per further study into this historical giants' life. He was never satisfied. How could he be if continue to seek after more he did?
 Alexander, by the age of thirty, was the creator of one of the largest empires in ancient history. Born in Pella in 356 BC, Alexander was tutored by the famed philosopher Aristotle. In 336 BC he inherited his father's throne as Philip II was assassinated. His spread of Greek influence also known as Hellenistic civilization is still found dripping within the pages of our current society. This man became the plumb line for a entirely new World view. Success reeked from his pores. " He became the measure against which military officials, even to this day, compare themselves . Military academies throughout the world still teach his conquests and exploits."

His legacy still lives on and is evident in much of our culture today. Considered by many in his time a deity Alexander was the epitome of excellence yet his personal life was one of drunken rages and broken relationships. With all he achieved he could not create a lasting empire and  could not create an heir. He died childless and alone. There are many speculations as to how he died some said it was foul play by those closest to him other theories imply death by overdose of medication or a rapid decline of health due to heavy drinking and frivolous living after the death of a close friend. Alexander died at the ripe age of 32.  A figure that was heralded for his almost unearthly and unrestrained conquests. Still He  could not tame his own soul. I wonder if before he died truly had he  felt accomplished and fulfilled. This question perhaps will  remain a mystery. Yet Alexander's life still rings out the forbearance of a man desirous of greatness and yet could not harness is own wild affections which led to the fall of this great empire. Can importance be found in the conquering of nations for the sake of one's own will and   yet the control over one's soul remain  unattained. To die young and alone with paranoia knocking within his heart is hardly an achieved matter.

Perhaps Alexander died of a broken heart. After the death of his closest confidant his mental and physical health quickly fell and his vicarious ways seemed to get the best of him. It is here that I come to the culmination with all that he had gained he lost to the game of life as death wrapped its grip around this once accomplished man. I conclude that even Alexander the greatest among men could not defeat his strongest enemy. Himself. His loneliness. His angst. His unmet desire of conquering all the world. His grieved heart in the end caused his downfall . Much like many who succeeded Alexander would  find  out " living for life alone  could never be enough.Significance my friend is not found in the next grandiose applaud of eminence or accomplishment but alone is found in the ultimate sacrifice. That God himself would leave perfection to receive to himself imperfect beings and committing his very life to do so. He endured such  excruciating pain simply because we are of that much matter and value to him. This absoluteness leaves me breathless. No man that ever lived  could claim such a persuasion. How can we ignore this intrinsic reality?  You mean more to my Lord than his very existence.
          What greater love can be found than a man lay down his life for his friend. John 15:13. If this truth could etch itself into our very soul we will reach limitless heights. Our lives will begin to blossom with the pervading force of love.  Driven by love to love.
Why is we continue attempting the climb  of the highest of mountains in search of influential love when love has already overcome the greatest of enemies to find us? Love has  come down through the person of Jesus Christ and reaching out  his hand toward you the fragmented soul, he gently invites you to partake of his splendor. This is true significance that the God of this universe is mindful of you.

I am a true testament to this love . I have been so transformed by it.

This past year after graduating from school has been one of tragedy and triumph. In many ways  I was left with a hurt sodden soul.  Almost immediately after school I was plunged into a youth ministry. Bits and pieces of me was  being given out to heal the lives of other young broken people. And yet as I shared this gospel truth with these hungry lives still within my heart was a  bleeding wound which stemmed deep from childhood. It had only  just resurfaced.  
        I had walked with the Lord for a number of years and yet the vicious cycle of rise and fall had begun to take its toll. Still  I set out to see others become free. My personal conquests of leading people to him  became my solace. I remained pining after significance which seemed to be just beyond my reach. Why was I still so clouded ?  Why had my vision of  true worth become so hazy. Had I not been going about the Lord's work?  Was that not enough? Within me was this clamor to understand my distinctive caliber. For so long I had poured my self into assisting others, loving others ,giving myself for others,  yet I  had not even begun to tap into the real meaning of this divine relationship with my Creator. He ached with desire to pour out his  love but I had been to busy to sit and receive that "Good thing". Being slow to learn it was not till I had become totally bankrupt and bare before him, not hiding behind my "good deeds", that he was allowed to pour upon me such unexpected graces and beauty.
      To describe the exchange that has begun within me cannot properly be exercised or expressed in the English language. However momentous steps of achievement in my life have been taken simply  by the powerful alluring presence of Almighty powerful God. He invaded me with himself and I cannot begin to express to you how significant I already realize my self to be. Perhaps by man's standards and perhaps my very own I have not done much to tell of.  However just a few moments in the presence of my King and suddenly I have come to grips with just how much we his created beings  are  worth. His word which has arrested my thoughts speak of great inherited wealth.  He has inscribed  us on the palms of his  hands. How great is his love towards us. We can only know the value of humanity in light of the cross, And we  can never realize the true value of the cross till we realize the true value of humankind.
       Success is not found in the millions of people I hope to one day meet and lead to his feet. Or  all the ground I will possess for his kingdom. Its not found in the height of mans wisdom or the depths of human honor. It could not be procured by the greatest of conquests or the attainment of glory. Success alone is  found in one person and one simple true story. That of a King who laid down His crown. Stepped out in our weakness and with great resound  came and found us. He desired to obtain and posses the impossible. The wayward heart of another which refused to be tamed. No other befores him had ever attempted or could  others boast in such terrain. As that which was conquered through the defeat of death and the grave. With blood on his brow and your face on his mind. He spread his arms wide to receive mankind. He alone does boast such a glorious feat. Of that which required the nailing to a cross of his hands and feet. With just three words he defeated the greatest of foes." It is finished" he gasped and with that he would go. His tattered torn body lay limp on that tree as onlookers gawked and others agreed surely this was the King of the Jews. Surely he died in vain they proposed. Little could they  know that just before them was the greatest of Heroes. Yes in man's eyes his was a story of sad defeat. but it did not end there this tale of old . Up from the grave three days later he arose. The veil of sin which kept our hearts at bay had now been broken and  Man's redemption was paid. The sacrifice now made,  Satisfied he laid the foundation for the untameable heart to be harnessed by him. His greatest desire from within was to be aquainted with his creation and for us to know him. His death and ressurection now opened wide for the impossible to begin. Relationship with the divine Trinity is what we can boast in. Here I stand in knowlegde of His pursuit. He pursues with a vengence the heart of man. To be completely conquered by his passionate love. This is the greatest desire from He who is above. How can you dear friend doubt your worth ?  All of this was done to obtain your affection. He did this for you. thus he has become my maginificent obsession. I will not stop and cannot stop I must not stop till all come to the saving knowledge of my Lord Jesus Christ. The one who has died and lives again. He dwells within. He is inside of my very being. By  his Holy Spirit I will continue singing this song of everlasting wonder and truth that the same God inside of me Longs to be inside of you.


 Significant one that you are receive the greatest of conquests as you surrender to the greatest of conquistadors of all time.

I started school last week and already have been so rewarded by my simple obedience in coming here. once again i am being inspired by the beautiful Holy Spirit to do and be everything he has planned for me. i continue to covet your prayers and support as i know as well as paul knew its the prayers of the saints that will continue to strengthen me. Love and blessings. isa

He calls sinners.

              On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." mark 2:17

today i saw desperate measures of grace pour out upon unsuspecting persons... someone was given a 2nd chance today. your spirit caused a reservoir of truth to trickle slowly yet the sustanance of it all treasures the storehouses of escape to all generations. your sweet sweet grace has once again brought life to this well worn soul. thank you Lord my God and King.

im exhausted. so tired. i had an equally emotionally draining day that unequivocally centered around a one in whom im to entrust totally to God. vague , yes but im still uncertain of exactly how much of me to put on here. the plumb line is being drawn i suppose by the One in whom is directing my path. Oh If it were not for his almost audible voice piercing the depths of my soul with the words  "you are very peculiar". This  i heard quite clearly as though it were my mom calling from the top of the stairs.at first glance to some this may sound a bit odd;)  but to those who know their Word to be called peculiar by the Lord is nothing short of magnificent.
      first the very fact that i had a Holy visitation from the one in whom my soul longs for. The one in whom a day spent with would far exceed a thousand else where. One in whom many have betrayed and deny every day. This One came to speak to me. how utterly humbled i am. how tenderly these words resounded within this temple of mine.and second that he should remind me of how very much i am his possesion.oh the feeling of belonging to someone. I suppose to often we go seeking elswhere for what is already within. He is within.

i am learning the discipline of silence before him. how often this mind wanders. has done so all my life. an exlover once called me a wayfaring wanderlust too often my affections were lavished on undeserving idols and forbidden fruit. too often my thoughts return there .so to bridle her and bring captive all her wayward ways i must. some might blush at the honesty in that statement but one thing i must do is hide nothing. for i know of 2 individuals who attempted to do just that but instead would be exposed for eternity. so i sit here quite vulnerable to you dear reader. hoping that from my story you can take a bit away for yourself learning once more we are all not to different from one another all in need of second chances and thirds and fourths. here is my hand let us wander elsewhere to something quite foreign to ourselves. The selfless life. completely contradictory i suppose to the voice echoing for generations " seek to fulfill your highest good found no where else but within ." what happens when  my highest good falls so short of His perfection.  why should i strive to obtain what i could never possess in myself when its already found in full  completion within Him. ive tried and what happened next was not a good ending. so to find my fairytale ending  i seek my Prince. or should i say he Sought me.

time to check out.

im off to read jean guyon's experiencing the depth of Christ. if you have the chance pick it up believe you me you wont regret it.

I give you an invitation : If you are thirsty, come to the living waters. Do not waste your precious time digging wells that have no water in them ( John 7:37 ; Jeremiah 2:13)

"If you are starving and can find nothing to satisfy your hunger than come. Come and you will be filled.

You who are poor, come.

You who are afflicted, come.

You who are weighted down with your load of wretchedness and your load of pain, come. You will be comforted!

You who are sick and need a physician, come. Dont hesitate because you have diseases. Come to your Lord and show Him all your diseases, and they willed be healed! Come. Dear child of God, your father has His arms of love open wide to you. Throw yourself into His arms, You who have strayed and wndered away as sheep, return to your Shepherd. You who are sinners, come to your Saviour. " -Jean Guyon

surrender

Nothing that is not God's will can come into the life of one who trust and obeys God. This fact is enough to make our life one of ceaseless thanksgiving and joy. For  "Gods will is the one hopeful, glad, and glorious thing in the world" : and it is working in the omnipotence for us all the time, with nothing to prevent it if we are surrendered and believing. H.W. Smith

i am in the painful process of releasing in my heart that which  the Lord has clearly asked me to surrender... he led me to Abraham's situation. this man  willingly gave up what was most precious to him.  somethings i have fought tooth and nail not to let go of  .but in the end its never more clear that i  must release my  all to him if i desire to walk in full relationship with my Master.
            He is a king and requires no less than our full and undivided affection.
     however as i sit here and begin to understand the struggle we as humans face in holding to tightly to our possessions i realize i am not alone . we have such a cloud of witnesses who likewise were  asked to give up such precious things: an entire nation, Abraham with his son  Isaac ; Everything that makes up  life including wealth, family, and health: job;. His  Freedom:Paul; .  A dream and vision for the future : Joseph. what did  these men have in common: they  chose to submit in the most pressing of situations and  received in return  a much  greater inheritance that would be permanent one in which moth or rust could not destroy. still one thing comes to mind: as great a testimony as these individuals possesed  were they not  also  just mere  men. flawed humanity prone to the same weaknesses as all the rest. in other words this could not have been any  joy ride for them. we often do not get to see this side of the story only the glorious outcome or end of one who gives all. however i cannot help but think each one suffered a great deal and did not give it all with out having first warrings within and without.  if we study the psalms carefully evidence of battle is found amongst the lines filled with hope.
       as i read Philippians the first chapter i am amazed at the revelation of God's sovereignty in Paul's life that could only have been realized in the face of such opposition. he was imprisoned but it was here that such beautiful life flowed. here that others were encouraged to boldness and proclaiming the gospel more openly.(see Phil1:14) even in the midst of such captivating moments where seemingly our hearts and minds have been   locked into a frame of thinking that contradicts God's word:  if we choose like Paul to submit ourselves to the Truth of this  Glorious Gospel,  despite our fears others will be brought to such salvation and freedom. as i look around and see evidence of Gods hand in my life i am amazed even as a prisoner others are experiencing God's freedom. his fruit still flows. be encouraged dear friend. when all is dark and even your own heart deceives you God is greater still. others are being set free simply by your testimony and willingness to daily surrender all that is valuable to you.
        the words of Paul read:" do not for a moment be frightened or intimidated in anything by your opponents and adversaries for such constancy and fearlessness will be a clear sign proof and seal to them of their impending destruction. but a sure token of your DELIVERANCE and SALVATION and that from God." (Phil 1:28)
       One thing can be sure.   you will never be able to out give our wonderful Giver of all things good......Here is a quote that has filled my heart with such gladness as i choose daily to surrender all to my king.

."And from that day to this, people have been learning that when at God's voice, they surrender up to Him the one thing above all else that is dearest to their very hearts, that same thing is returned to them by Him a thousand times over. Abraham gives up his one and only son at God's call, and with this disappear all his hopes for the boy's life and manhood and for a noble family bearing his name. But the boy is restored, the family becomes as the stars and sands in number and out of it in the fullness of time appears Jesus Christ. That is just the way God meets every real sacrifice of every child of his". C.G.Trumbull

when we hold up our white flags  to the Lord we cannot always know the exact outcome but one thing can be certain no man or woman ever having truly committed a thing to the Lord did not receive in return all and much more than they could have thought or  imagined. it is at times a most painful and difficult  process. but as you give yourself to this faithful and just King. Life will abound more and more and that which was so esteemed in your eyes  suddenly pales in comparison to the splendor and glory found in the face of our dear Lord. may he bless you abundantly with a greater revelation of himself as you raise your open hands to him.

the vision is yet for an appointed time.....

recently God put it on my heart to share with the world the vision he has given me and thus i must obey ...a great man once said " i know that this shall turn to my salvation through your prayers and the supply of the Holy Spirit.." this man knew he was marked and needed the prayers of those who knew him thus he wrote letters of his journeys so if only for selfish reasons of coveting your prayers i write sharing my journey with you...it is late and i must make this short for now but i will expound more on what exactly this vision is and who exactly i am. for now i will leave you with this. I am a devoted follower of Jesus Christ. what does that mean exactly. well i ll tell you...soon. just stayed tuned dear friend. as i embark in the unknown i invite you to please join me as once again i plead with you keep me in your prayers. perhaps a total stranger to you or the contrary we are quite friends please  pray that my eyes will stay on the Lord Jesus Christ no matter what comes my way. that the vision all though it tarries i will wait for it. for in the end it will not lie. It is yet for an appointed time.i pray this both challenges you and encourages you to seek Him while he may yet be found for there are riches unspeakable full of wonder that are yet to be discovered. goodbye for now.

spontaneous thoughts....

  Friday, August 8, 2008 at 1:56am

i write you. worlds apart yet so near. blood shed life giving source to strangers among death faced with choices leading to the grave..mistakes caress feel good ways. running through my mind. stumbling over thoughts to high. lies wrapped around truth dissolves all hope. blood shed life giving source to strangers. you died i live i die you live in me life...strange inuendo leading to new change gaining ground falling down staring at you. time caves in....drop to my knees on my face again

wait.

erase this mistake. stumbling over flesh that cries out...spirit speaks death leads to life.flesh screams satisfy the moment.

waves of sweet fragrance pouring from your brow.grace.

who can win in battles of change desire flames inquire welling inside your deepest fears leer questions crumble tearing at lifeless humble people wishing death was near. hiding behind a facade of tricks and treats built to last for...moments...satisfy this craving child, society speaks...give in to your selfish pride, we listen. words given...distraction pleads let loose be free. feel it burn as you swallow morals fallen into old fashion times of struggle chasing hopes the american dream confusing teens..living streams of lies to continue ugly facets of life that lead to crushed souls brokeness only made whole by...you...so near yet so far..hear the cries of these thoughts...hear the heart wrenching plight of each fallen heart. close my eyes imagine your eyes upon the endless searching mind interpreting filing away memories of lost time....attempting to achieve a name. wise children fall into step the worlds rhythm playing out beats of defeat mirrored by success...

wait.

cringe you see all...tears fall.truth be told in a world of lies compromise clinging close breathing threats down throats of hungry lives. trying to fight a losing battle where is the separation? of reality and insanity. is it you? can we live truth? you are truth. walking down the corridors of walls to high to reach paled by the silence of release as blood washes over me..reminders of your story. how you came walked hells gates overcame death. man. pain. the grave. hate. struggle. rejection stemming from fear that challenged you. perfection. i cry you cried i hate you love i fail you remain perfect. life giving source to me. i melt in you. try as i did run as i did give up i did. life giving source to me. come in savoring you.clinging to thoughts of you. amidst a world that hates you. reality speaks loneliness wreaks havoc on unsuspecting travelers gaining ground on hatred to your name. lonliness exists where you are not.

wait.
running freely waiting staring understanding all that was and is to come. held together by your song. you are....I AM.